Apple Pie Fail

I’ve had this huge hankering for homemade apple pie lately.  This is about the time every year when my mom and I get together and kick out a couple homemade pies using her recipe.  And let me tell you, these are the best apple pies!! 
Well, I’m not going to see mom until next month and my hankerin’ for apple pie just could not wait. So, while grocery shopping today, I went ahead and picked up a 3# bag of granny smith apples.  Then before church tonight, while making dinner, I also whipped up a quick pie disc for the fridge.
We got home from church and it was time for the boys to go to bed.  But instead I decided to let them stay up and make apple pie with me.  As I’m rolling out the dough, a thought crosses my mind… “I’ve never done this before”.  It dawns on me that in all the years I’ve been “making” pie with mom… I’ve merely assisted as needed or possibly just sat across from her and chatted while she did all the work.
So, I get the dough rolled out and I realize that my pie pan is HUGE!  Like feed a small village HUGE.  In fact, it takes all but two of the apples from bag I just bought to fill it.  By the way, the boys LOVE cranking the apple peeler-corer-slicer contraption.  I add the topping, move the pie to the oven, and send the kids to bed.
Making a pie wasn’t all that hard and it only consisted of one phone call home to mom.  Now comes the waiting.  Why, oh, why do pies take so long to bake?  And why, oh, why is my extra-super-sized pie taking so long to bake?
Finally….finally it was out of the oven, cooled to a decent temperature, and ready to test.  Hubby made it to the kitchen first. He’s not a pie eater, and was merely getting a drink. However, he broke a little corner off the pie crust and popped it in his mouth.  Oh, I wish you could have seen the horrible face me made and then immediately tried to hide.
I asked him several times what was wrong, but got no answer.  So, broke a piece off and tried it.  Oh. My. Goodness.  It was like eating a salt lick.  Seriously.  We had to spit it out and go directly for a drink… and then another drink.   Then we got another drink. 
I checked the original recipe, then checked the scratch paper that I wrote my own measurements on.  See, since my pie pan was SO big, I wanted the recipe times 1.5.  Somewhere in my conversion, I took the original 1/4 teaspoon measurement for salt, multiplied it by 1.5 and came up with 6 tablespoons….y’know, the spoon with the capital T. And that stands for trouble.
We just had to laugh, but I was dissapointed.  I though maybe I could at least eat the top half of the apples and the topping, almost like a crisp, but the salt seemed to have permeated the whole lot.  It’s bad.  And it’s sad. And mommy has to tell two little boys that the pie they made didn’t turn out and they will have to eat Froot Loops instead of apple pie for breakfast like I promised them.
Oh well… I guess we all have our failed cooking or baking stories, right?  I would would love to say that this is my only one, but that is SO not true. I would also LOVE to hear about your food flops.  Write me a comment and share…. make me feel better.
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4 Responses to Apple Pie Fail

  1. With my first pumpkin pie attempt, I used a frozen pie crust. I didn't like the looks of the top one, so I used the bottom one and didn't notice that there was a wax liner between the two crusts. The pie got baked and taken to the office party with the wax liner intact. I have never laughed and cried so hard at the same time. The pie part and the crust were great, you just had to pick around the wax liner. LOL

  2. Barb Visser says:

    Baking is a great experience, and you never really learn until you do it by yourself. I'm sure your next pie will be perfect. It's a great story – Barb

  3. Anonymous says:

    Kelli – one morning I was over tired but made pancakes for the boys… in my haste I added a 1/2 cup of SALT instead of 1/2 cup of sugar.. and when they said the pancakes didnt taste "as good as usual", I stomped off in a huff thinking I was raising ungrateful brats!! Then I realized what I'd done and the whole lot of them went into the trash and we went out for bagels! Hang in there … Betty Crocker had to start somewhere, too!! -Marilyn P

  4. Jill Corwin says:

    LOL Kelli, we have all done that. I LOVE the description of the salt lick! LOL!!! 😀

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